When the Other Pet Is Grieving Too

When a pet dies in a home with more than one animal, families often notice something they did not expect: the surviving dog or cat seems to be grieving as well. They search the house, wait by the door, stop eating, or suddenly want to be held all the time. It can be painful to watch while you are grieving yourself.

Whether animals understand death the way we do is hard to say. What is clear is that they notice absence, and that the loss of a companion changes their world. Here is what to expect and how to help.

Changes you might notice

• Searching rooms, the yard or the car for the missing pet
• Sleeping in the other pet's bed or favorite spot
• Eating less, or losing interest in play and walks
• Crying, howling or vocalizing more than usual
• Becoming clingier, or sometimes more withdrawn
• A shift in behavior between remaining pets, as they sort out a new order in the house

Most of these ease within a few weeks. Some pets seem to adjust in days; others take a couple of months.

Should the surviving pet see their companion?

Some families choose to let their other pets see and smell their companion after death. There is no firm evidence either way, but many owners feel it helps the surviving animal understand, and it tends to reduce searching behavior afterward. If you are at home, give them a quiet few minutes. If it happens at the clinic, you might bring home the blanket your pet lay on.

Keep the routine steady

In Middle Tennessee, so much of a dog's day is built around the same few things: the morning walk before the humidity rises, the neighborhood loop, the evening on the back porch. Keep those going as closely as you can. Routine is the thing animals rely on most, and it gives them something familiar while everything else feels different.

Try not to change too much at once. This is not the time to move furniture around, switch food or start a new schedule if you can avoid it.

Offer comfort, but don't overdo it

It is natural to shower a grieving pet with attention and treats. A little extra affection helps. But if every sigh gets a treat, some pets learn that looking sad is rewarding. Aim for calm, steady reassurance, and extra exercise and play rather than extra food.

If the other pet was the confident one, the survivor may be more anxious than before, especially during thunderstorms, fireworks or when you leave the house. Be patient with that. It often settles as they build confidence on their own.

When to call your veterinarian

Grief can look like illness, and illness can hide behind grief. Call your vet if a pet:

• Refuses food for more than a day or two (sooner for cats, who can become unwell quickly without eating)
• Shows vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy or other physical symptoms
• Seems depressed for more than several weeks with no improvement

Helping a surviving cat

Cats often show grief more quietly than dogs. They may hide, stop grooming, or start calling through the house at night. Leave the other cat's bed or blanket out for a while so the familiar scent remains, and keep feeding times and litter routines exactly the same. Spend a few extra minutes each day with gentle play or brushing. If two cats shared a tense relationship, the surviving cat may actually seem more relaxed, and that is fine too. Every animal responds in its own way.

About getting another pet

Some people adopt quickly so the surviving pet will not be alone. Sometimes that works well. Often it is better to wait until the surviving animal has settled and you have too. A new pet is a new relationship, not a replacement, and an anxious survivor may need time before they are ready to share their home again.

Most of all, remember that you are both adjusting. Sitting together on the porch in the evening, missing the same companion, is its own quiet kind of comfort.

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